Wait Wait... Don't Tell Me!

Transcript

CARL KASELL: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz. I'm Carl Kasell. We're playing this week with P. J. O'Rourke, Kyrie O'Connor, and Adam Felber. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, and filling in for Peter Sagal, Tom Bodett.

(APPLAUSE)

TOM BODETT, HOST:

Thank you, Carl. In just a minute, Carl leaves the rhyme on for you at Motel Limericks in our listener limerick challenge. Let me do that again, I don't think you heard it.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

TOM BODETT, HOST:

Now, panel, how will that teenager blow his 30 million? P. J. O'Rourke?

P. J. O'ROURKE: Well, 30 million is about what college education costs for a kid these days. So he's going to spend it to get a college education so he can get a good job.

BODETT: Kyrie O'Connor?

KYRIE O'CONNOR: He's going to blow it on cars he can't drive, women he can't date and liquor he can't drink.

BODETT: And Adam Felber?

ADAM FELBER: He's going to wait two years and then he's going to buy Yahoo.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

Bill Kurtis reads three quotes from the week's news: Leave the gun, take the baklava; Extreme Makeover: GOP; Who's the Dodo now?

More questions for the panel: Bazooka parenting, A Cure for Mornings

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everyone to join us here most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium, and don't miss our May 2nd cinecast event, where you can see WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! live at your local movie theater. We've got Paula Poundstone, Mo Rocca, Tom Bodett and America's sweetheart, Mr. Carl Kasell.

Tickets are going fast. For information, go to wbez.org, and you can find a link at our website waitwait.npr.org. Right now, panel, time for you answer some questions about this week's news.

Carl Kasell reads three quotes from the week's news ... Moving on Up, Prez Charming, and Who's Big Gulping now?

More questions for the panel: Speaking In Tongues, The Curse of Lipitor's Tomb, and Broad Appeal.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can always click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Coming up, it's Lightning Fill in the Blank, but first it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-Wait-Wait, that's 1-888-924-8924. You can click the contact us link on our website waitwait.npr.org.

There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our shows in Rockford, Illinois at the beautiful Coronado Theater there on April 4th. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!

Our panelists tell three stories about attempts to improve your commute.

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

We want to remind everybody about the upcoming WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME! cinema event, happening on May 2nd. You could witness the magic of WAIT WAIT live in a movie theater near you. Finally, an opportunity to enjoy this same radio show among a crowd of strangers, while paying $8 for a box of Milk Duds.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Right now, panel, time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Paula, in some alarming news, al Qaeda is now drawing inspiration for their attacks from what?

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: Now, panel, where will horses turn up next? Alonzo Bodden?

ALONZO BODDEN: We're going to be shocked when we see horses running the Indy 500 to save on fuel.

(LAUGHTER)

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Jessi Klein?

JESSI KLEIN: I think we will see a horse on the roof of Mitt Romney's car.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: An oldie but a goodie.

KLEIN: So stupid. It's so old.

SAGAL: And Mo Rocca?

MO ROCCA: Well, I'd like to see horses show up in shampoo commercials.

(LAUGHTER)

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players now has 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can; each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Mo and Alonzo each have three and Jessi has two.

SAGAL: Well, Jessi, you are in third place. That means that you go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Please fill in the blank.

JESSI KLEIN: Okay.

Transcript

BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ-Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT...DON'T TELL ME!, the NPR News quiz . I'm Bill Kurtis filling in for Carl Kasell. We're playing his week with Mo Rocca, Klein, and Alonzo Bodden. And, here again is your host, at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you.

(APPLAUSE)

This segment was originally broadcast on June 14, 2012.

John Irving is the author of The World According To Garp, A Prayer for Owen Meany, The Cider House Rules and many other works of fiction. His latest novel is called In One Person.