Here's The Deal With That Glowing Orb — And Plenty Of Notes On What It Isn't
It's pretty safe to say President Trump did a few attention-grabbing things this weekend on the first leg of his first foreign tour in office. He delivered an address to the leaders of Muslim-majority countries, for instance, and took part in a sword dance with Saudi leaders in Riyadh.
And as you might have heard, he also touched a glowing orb.
At the gala inauguration of the Global Center for Combating Extremist Ideology — an institution billed as a cooperative effort to confront extremism "by the latest intellectual, media and numerical methods and means" — Trump joined Saudi King Salman bin Abdul-Aziz Al Saud and Egyptian President Abdel-Fattah el-Sissi in laying their hands on a lit-up globe.
Here's how the Saudi Gazette put it: "Trump and the King each placed their hands on a miniature globe that officially activated the center and launched a splashy welcome video."
Then, they continued to palm the sphere for about a minute and a half as they watched, lights dimmed and orb aglow — while cameras snapped away.
Which, of course, means Twitter noticed, too.
Sisi, Saudi King and Trump put their hands on a glowing orb pic.twitter.com/9aKXl2prjW— Sylvia Westall (@s_westall) May 21, 2017
Ever helpful and earnest, our fair friends on social media quickly stepped in to clarify the situation for befuddled onlookers. That is, they offered a few suggestions about what it's fairly safe to say Trump did not do.
And they offered a lot of them.
For instance, it's pretty safe to say Trump did not break a campaign pledge to resist the all-knowing orb's deceitful and deadly attractions.
Trump During the Campaign: "I will NEVER touch The Orb, even though its mysterious glow seduces and beguiles."— Nick Greene (@NickGreene) May 21, 2017
Trump Today: pic.twitter.com/eWoaDeXj8n
He probably did not make a wish, negotiate with the glowing orb or see his future. Mark our words: He did not even sic a troop of orcs on the heroic, if reluctant and undersized, possessor of the One Ring to Rule Them All.
trump 100% made a wish when he touched the orb pic.twitter.com/S0TlxgxtBY— mr cant spell good (@KrangTNelson) May 21, 2017
A lot of people say the Orb is evil. Stupid! I will negotiate with the Orb, make it work for us. Good deal for everyone!!! Hail the Orb. pic.twitter.com/vmN12iTulB— Matt Roller (@rolldiggity) May 21, 2017
When the Magic Orb shows you your future pic.twitter.com/crjLsl84WQ— Cooper Lund (@cooperlund) May 21, 2017
"find...the...hobbit..." pic.twitter.com/8saqDbl5Nh— darth™ (@darth) May 21, 2017
Sure, we'll admit the possibility Trump disappointed campaign rival Jeb Bush. But it also appears he did not impress Breitbart, a media outlet that has ties to his administration and quite often has his back at moments such as these.
May 21, 2017
And finally, let's be very, very clear on this point: Trump did not take part in a satanic ritual.
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For clarification, this is not a Satanic ritual. pic.twitter.com/CccP39fqN4— The Church Of Satan (@ChurchofSatan) May 22, 2017