PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Coming up, it's Lightning Fill In The Blank, but first, it's the game where you have to listen for the rhyme. If you'd like to play on air, call or leave a message at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924, or click the contact us link on our website, waitwait.npr.org. There you can find out about attending our weekly live shows right here at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago and our upcoming show at beautiful Tanglewood in Lennox, Mass. And be sure to check out the latest How To Do Everything podcast. This week, Mike and Ian tell you how painting cow butts can save lives.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
ANNIE DIGNAM: Hi, this is Annie, and I'm calling from Owosso, Mich.
SAGAL: Hey, where in...
(CHEERING)
SAGAL: Are there people from Owasso, Mich., in this audience?
(LAUGHTER)
UNIDENTIFIED WOMAN: Yes.
SAGAL: Is there anybody left in Owosso if you guys are here?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Where is - where is Owosso?
ADAM BURKE: And apparently she's looking after their dogs.
SAGAL: Apparently.
(LAUGHTER)
DIGNAM: Just all of them.
PETER GROSZ: So loud.
SAGAL: Where is Owosso, Mich.?
DIGNAM: It is northeast of Lansing, about 30 miles.
SAGAL: OK, great. Where's Lansing?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Welcome to the show, Annie. Bill Kurtis is going to read you three news-related limericks, with the last word or phrase missing from each of them. If you can fill in that last word or phrase correctly in two of the limericks, you will be a winner. Ready to play?
DIGNAM: Yes, I am.
SAGAL: Here's your first limerick.
BILL KURTIS: Though I limp and I have a glass eye, I will give fashion runways a try. The taste for design is no longer refined. They're hiring a regular...
DIGNAM: Guy.
SAGAL: Right, yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: It used to be designers wanted perfect bodies to show off their clothes. Well, today's clothes are bored and want a challenge. According to The Wall Street Journal, model agencies are picking normal men off the street left and right to model their clothes on the runways. Last week, for instance, a modeling scout chased down a 62-year-old cab driver in midtown Manhattan to put him on the catwalk. His debut went well enough, but he did spend the entire fashion show on the phone.
(LAUGHTER)
AMY DICKINSON: I love how - I'm sure they're also doing that with women, right?
SAGAL: Oh, no, no, no, no.
DICKINSON: Finding regular women...
GROSZ: How dare you say that?
DICKINSON: ...To put on the cat - I don't - well, I'm crazy.
GROSZ: Don't even joke about that, please.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Here is your next limerick.
KURTIS: The magnetic tape was TV's star. Then came DVD and DVR. Now they're streaming my shows, so it's big box, adios. They just made the last...
DIGNAM: VCR.
SAGAL: Yes, VCR.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
KURTIS: Yes, Annie, good.
SAGAL: This week, we finally say goodbye to the Abe Vigoda of technology...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...The VCR. For the past 20 years, the Funai Electronics Company has been making VCRs for the sole purpose of giving your parents a way to watch old bar mitzvah videos. But Funai, the last maker of VCRs, announced they would discontinue production, which prompted a gigantic outcry on social media. Thousands demanded to know what the hell a VCR was.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Some - I think, for some of us, though, there's going to be a lot of nostalgia, I mean, because...
GROSZ: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: ...The experience of using a VCR was very distinct. We don't have that anymore. I mean...
GROSZ: No, we have other frustrating things that we can do in our lives.
(LAUGHTER)
BURKE: I think they - they probably wanted to tell us, like, the exact moment they made the last VCR, but no one could get the freakin' clock to work.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: And that factory, they said that they're going to stop making VCRs and they're going to start making LaserDiscs.
BURKE: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: The future is in CDs that look like albums.
SAGAL: Here is your last limerick.
KURTIS: I binge on the shows my friend Brett picks. But that turns out to be a health threat mix. Emotions apart, it's not good for my heart. I might die if I watch too much...
DIGNAM: Netflix.
SAGAL: Netflix, yes.
KURTIS: Yes.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Researchers in Japan have a stark warning for anyone binge-watching Netflix. Every two hours of watching "House Of Cards," or a show like that, increases your risk of a pulmonary embolism by 40 percent...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...And quadruples your risk of Kevin Spacey-thelioma (ph).
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: It increases your risk of what?
SAGAL: Kevin Spacey-thelioma.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: No, no, sorry. No, I'm less concerned with the joke than with the (laughter) serious malady.
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: I already have Kevin Spacey-thelioma. But what does that have to do with watching Netflix?
SAGAL: Well, the problem...
GROSZ: It's a sitting thing.
DICKINSON: Sitting.
SAGAL: Because the problem is you watch Netflix and, of course, as you know, if you watch Netflix and they start rolling over to the, you know...
GROSZ: Right.
SAGAL: ...The next episode starts in 10 seconds - well, all right. You can sit in that couch for hours without moving, and that's dangerous.
GROSZ: Well, what if you're reading a book...
(LAUGHTER)
GROSZ: ...Or having a talk with a friend?
(LAUGHTER)
DICKINSON: But it - that doesn't...
BURKE: Would we still have a pulmonary embolism, whatever that is?
DICKINSON: That doesn't rhyme with Brett picks.
SAGAL: That's the problem.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Annie do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Annie did well. The audience got all three.
DICKINSON: (Laughter).
SAGAL: Congratulations.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Annie.
DIGNAM: Thank you.
SAGAL: Thanks for playing.
KURTIS: The dogs got two.
(SOUNDBITE OF "ROWAN AND MARTIN'S LAUGH-IN" THEME SONG) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.