In the minds of many, humans supposedly behaving like animals is a bad thing, as if all primal proclivities are something to be avoided.
But taking the obviously awful stuff off the table – like killing without conscience or not washing your hands before dinner – acting like a critter can be quite freeing.
Be – or at least think like – an animal this weekend. You can do it. But you already know that, don’t you?
1. Cheetah Run
Liberate yourself by witnessing the amazing running abilities of Gigi and Sahara, the Kansas City Zoo’s two cheetahs that will race around a track at up to 70 m.p.h. Are the speediest mammals on the planet doing it purely for your viewing pleasure? It’s a nice thought, but something tells me there’s a treat in it for this twosome. Still, cheering them on couldn’t hurt, just in case they care who wins.
Saturday, 10:30 a.m. Saturday, Kansas City Zoo, 6800 Zoo Dr., Kansas City, Mo.; admission: regular zoo admission ($10.50-$13.50).
2. The Romantics
The Riverside Music Fest is certainly for the whole family, including the headlining Romantics of early 1980s rock ’n’ roll renown. But shall we be honest? When the band kicks into its seductively head-bobbing, if-it-feels-good-do-it, signature hit, “What I Like About You,” well, let’s just say that the basic mating ritual is in full swing. On second thought, let the irresistible ditty’s lyrics say it: “What I like about you/You really know how to dance/When you go up, down, jump around/Think about true romance…wow!” Ahem.
Saturday, 3-10 p.m. (Romantics play at 9 p.m.), E.H. Riverfront Park, 1001 Argosy Parkway, Riverside, Mo.; admission: free.
3. Ravel’s Bolero
The Kansas City Symphony gives in to desire this weekend with its rendition of Maurice Ravel’s 1928 orchestral piece, Bolero. It became Ravel’s most famous piece for lots of technical reasons, but a great deal of the work’s mass appeal came from its relentlessly slow build that, however subtly, brought out animal urges. Which is why the tune was perfectly adapted for the 1979 movie comedy, “10,” in which goofball Dudley Moore employs it to have a chance with gorgeous Bo Derek. The power of music!
4. Kansas City Improv Festival
He who hesitates in the animal kingdom is lost in the worst of ways – that’s how you become dinner, instead of having it. Likewise, pausing to reflect is of no use when it comes to successful execution of improvisational comedy, where thinking fast on your feet is a fundamental requirement. Catch some of the best local and national improv acts during the final weekend of the Kansas City Improv Festival, including headliner “Baby Wants Candy – the Completely Improvised Musical.” Where else can you see an hour-long musical with a full band created in the moment merely from an audience member shouting out a made-up title?
Friday and Saturday, 7 p.m.; Musical Theatre Heritage, Crown Center, 2450 Grand Blvd., Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $18.
5. Thoroughly Modern Millie
If you remember the Roaring Twenties (and, if you do, congratulations), it was a time of unbridled excess for the young and the restless, including the era’s promise of more freedom and equality for women. Experience flapper power to the extreme and get your own roar on with this stage musical that dazzled Broadway audiences and was inspired by the movie of the same name released in 1967. Say, remember the Swinging Sixties? Oh, that can wait.
Friday and Saturday, 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m.; Barn Players Community Theatre, 6219 Martway, Mission, Kan.; tickets: $12-$18.
6. Broncos at Chiefs
The weekend gets an early start when the football beasts do battle on Thursday night in the Kansas City Chiefs’ nationally televised home opener against their detested division rival the Denver Broncos. The tailgating alone should be a jungle. And when it comes to Broncos’ quarterback Payton Manning – who has an embarrassing (for us) 12-1 career record against the Chiefs – there’s really only one thing for you to scream: “Kill him!” Well, maybe another thing: “Kill him again!” You animal, you.
Thursday, 7:25 p.m.; Arrowhead Stadium, 1 Arrowhead Dr., Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $105-$450