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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Kyrie O'Connor has the lead, Peter. She has four points. Simon Amstell and Mo Rocca are tied for second. They both have two points.

MO ROCCA: My god.

SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Mo has elected to go second. So Simon, you are up first. Fill in the blank. Editor Rebekah Brooks and seven other journalists were charged for their roles in Britain's blank scandal.

SIMON AMSTELL: It's the hacking scandal.

SAGAL: The phone hacking scandal, yes.

AMSTELL: The phone hacking scandal.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: To help patients without insurance, three hospitals have said they will reduce the bills of victims of the shooting in blank.

AMSTELL: Colorado.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week the state media in North Korea confirmed that leader Kim Jung Un is blank.

AMSTELL: Good.

SAGAL: He's good.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He's a good man. No, they confirmed that he's married. On the anniversary of her 115th birthday, scientists failed once again to find aviatrix blank.

AMSTELL: To find what blank?

SAGAL: Aviatrix.

AMSTELL: Aviatrix.

SAGAL: Female pilot.

AMSTELL: She's a pilot.

SAGAL: She was.

AMSTELL: She died?

SAGAL: She did.

ROCCA: We don't know that.

AMSTELL: They failed to what?

SAGAL: They failed to find.

AMSTELL: They failed to find what?

SAGAL: We do speak the language, do we not?

AMSTELL: Hang on.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Merely the name is what we ask for.

AMSTELL: You want the name of a woman?

SAGAL: Yes. Any woman will do.

(LAUGHTER)

AMSTELL: Susan.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Amelia Earhart.

AMSTELL: Amelia Earhart.

SAGAL: Yes.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: A city in the Ukraine is deporting thousands of pigeons, and to make sure it works, they're blanking them first.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

AMSTELL: Well you couldn't get rid of their wings because then they wouldn't be able to leave. So how do you get them to not come back?

SAGAL: Right.

AMSTELL: I think you get them a visa for the other country.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No. It's a good idea. You get them drunk first.

AMSTELL: No, why are people messing with nature?

SAGAL: Because they need to get rid of the pigeons. The city of Sumy is going to get the pigeons drunk, and when they pass out, drive them out of town. The pigeons will wake up hundreds of miles away, next to a crust of bread they don't recognize. And go "oh man what did I spread disease to last night?"

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Simon do on our quiz?

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

KASELL: Simon had two correct answers, for four more points. He now has six points, and Simon has taken the lead.

AMSTELL: The lead.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Well done. All right, Mo, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

AMSTELL: Good luck, Mo.

ROCCA: I know.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: I actually stand a chance.

SAGAL: On Wednesday, a plan to extend Bush era tax cuts for the blank passed in the Senate.

ROCCA: For the middle class.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an unprecedented move, NCAA officials hit blank with sanctions including a $60 million fine and forfeiture of 112 wins.

ROCCA: Penn State.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Global stocks fell after Moody's downgraded the credit rating for Europe's biggest economy, blank.

ROCCA: Oh gosh, Europe's biggest economy is Germany.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: One day before it reached its final destination, Prince Harry, Prince William and his wife Kate met the blank as it arrived at Buckingham Palace.

ROCCA: The Olympic torch.

SAGAL: Yes, indeed.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because finding a chapel takes too long, a business in Las Vegas has opened up a new service, the blank.

ROCCA: Service?

AMSTELL: Oh dear.

(LAUGHTER)

ROCCA: Oh no. No. I'm being shamed now. No. They've opened a service. It's a name of a service.

SAGAL: It's the Curbside Wedding Van.

ROCCA: OK.

SAGAL: Pull up and marry you.

ROCCA: OK.

SAGAL: Best known for his role on the TV show "The Jeffersons," blank died this week at age 74.

ROCCA: Sherman Hensley.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to a recent survey, office workers in Washington D.C. blank more than workers in any other city.

ROCCA: Gosh, die on the job.

SAGAL: Swear.

ROCCA: Swear.

SAGAL: In a new marketing plan, Dunkin Donuts in South Korea is hoping to increase their sales by blanking in buses.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

ROCCA: Dunkin Donuts. By throwing jelly donuts out of buses.

SAGAL: No, by spraying coffee smells into the bus.

ROCCA: OK. That's smart.

SAGAL: Every time the Dunkin Donuts radio jingle is played, the smell of coffee will waft around, enticing bus riders to head to their nearest Dunkin Donuts. It's an odd choice, because in the long span of human history, no one has ever said "the smell of this bus really makes me want to eat something."

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did Mo do on our quiz?

KASELL: Mo had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has 12 points, and Mo has taken the lead.

SAGAL: All right, then.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Bitter.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: How many then does Kyrie need to win?

KASELL: Four to tie, five to win outright.

SAGAL: Here we go, Kyrie, this is for the game. The first U.S. woman in space, astronaut blank died this week at age 61.

KYRIE O'CONNOR: Sally Ride.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week neighboring countries strengthened their border defenses after blank said that it has chemical weapons and is prepared to use them.

O'CONNOR: Syria.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of its stance on gay marriage, The Muppets have pulled their products from blank restaurants.

O'CONNOR: Chick-fil-A.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: An overflow crowd packed a public hearing in New York this week to debate Michael Bloomberg's proposed ban on blank.

O'CONNOR: Big sodas.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because of a typo, House Republicans accidentally introduced a bill that barred new government regulations until U.S. unemployment blank.

O'CONNOR: Rises.

SAGAL: Well, it said there would be no new regulation until unemployment reached 94 percent.

Because the foot pedals might stick, blank announced the recall of almost 500,000 Escape SUV's.

O'CONNOR: Ford.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Internet users around the world were silenced on Thursday when blank went down unexpectedly.

O'CONNOR: Twitter.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A British company has come up with a new fitness plan that helps people lose weight by blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'CONNOR: By peddling at their desks.

SAGAL: No. By shooting paintballs at them.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's easy to get moving when some maniacal fitness instructor is shooting at you with a paintball gun. That's the theory behind a fitness program provided by a paintball company. An even better fitness program is to just give the exercisers the paintball guns, and let them chase down their defenseless fitness instructors.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, did Kyrie do well enough to win?

KASELL: She had six correct answers, for 12 more points. So with 16 points, Kyrie O'Connor is this week's champion.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: There you go. Well done, Kyrie.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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