PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now onto to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Luke and Roxanne each have 2, and Roy has 4.
ROY BLOUNT JR.: Ooh.
SAGAL: Goodness gracious.
LUKE BURBANK: Whoa.
BLOUNT JR.: How did I do this?
SAGAL: All right, we have flipped a coin, and Roxanne has elected to go first. So the clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. This week, a State Department audit found that Hillary Clinton's use of blank violated government rules.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: Email.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama announced that a drone strike had killed the leader of blank.
ROBERTS: The Taliban.
SAGAL: Right. On Monday...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the FBI began investigating the governor of blank for possible campaign violations.
ROBERTS: Virginia.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The CDC announced this week that over 150 pregnant women in the U.S. are infected with blank.
ROBERTS: The Zika virus.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Sunday, the Secret Service announced they had locked down the White House due to blank.
ROBERTS: Party balloons.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, the Senate passed an equal pay resolution for the U.S. women’s blank team.
ROBERTS: The soccer team.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, it was revealed that Peter Thiel was financing blank's lawsuit against Gawker.
ROBERTS: Hulk Hogan.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After hearing eerie noises coming from a nearby grave...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...A man visiting a cemetery in the U.K. discovered blank.
ROBERTS: Oh, this is so cute. It was the fox cub with his head stuck in the peanut butter jar.
SAGAL: You're right, Roxanne.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL, APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In what's easily the most adorable "Scooby Doo" ending ever, what a man in Somerset suspected to be a ghost turned out to be a baby fox that while trying to get that little last bit of peanut butter - happens to all of us - got its head stuck in the jar, was banging it against a headstone trying to get it out.
ROBERTS: Aww, it was a little girl fox, too. Oh my God, those pictures are so cute, I can hardly stand it.
SAGAL: Yeah. They freed the cub. They gave her a name, which of course was Defiler of Graves.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: It was Peanut.
BLOUNT JR.: Peanut?
SAGAL: OK, fine, tell them the truth.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOUNT JR.: Peanut butter (laughter).
SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do on our quiz?
KURTIS: We must recognize Roxanne's achievement. She got all eight right.
SAGAL: That is amazing.
(APPLAUSE)
BLOUNT JR.: That is great.
SAGAL: And I'm guessing that means that everybody else here has to be pretty good to even have a chance against her.
KURTIS: Almost perfect...
SAGAL: All right...
KURTIS: She got 18 - or 16 more, total of 18 and the lead.
SAGAL: All right, here we go, Luke. You're up next. Fill in the On Wednesday, Paul Ryan said he’s still not ready to endorse blank.
BURBANK: Donald Trump.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Scientists are reporting that a patient has been identified with an infection resistant to all blank.
BURBANK: Antibiotics.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, NASA hit a snag while trying to inflate a new habitat on the blank.
BURBANK: Space station.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: In order to dispel rumors that their famous panda had died, a zoo in Taiwan blanked.
BURBANK: Tweeted in the form of the panda.
SAGAL: No, they published photos of the panda holding today's newspaper.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Proof of life. This week, Michelle Obama announced that food nutrition labels would now include blank.
BURBANK: The price.
SAGAL: No, added sugar. On Monday, a former McDonald’s CEO said it would be cheaper to hire blanks than to pay employees $15 an hour.
BURBANK: Hire robots.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: A carjacking victim in the U.K. was able to identify his attacker...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...And turn him into the authorities when blank.
BURBANK: He turned out to be an adorable fox with his head stuck in a...
SAGAL: No.
BURBANK: ...Jam jar,
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: He was able to identify his attacker and turn him into authorities when Facebook suggested that they should be friends.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Police in Birmingham had been searching for the man behind a two-month crime spree that included multiple carjackings when one of the victims came forward with the man's name. Apparently, Facebook had listed the guy in a new section felons you may know.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Luke do on our quiz?
KURTIS: He got four right, 8 more points, total of 10. But Roxanne has the lead.
SAGAL: All right, so then how many does Roy need to win?
KURTIS: Seven to tie, eight to win.
SAGAL: Here you go, Roy. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. This week, Iraqi security forces retook the town of Karma from blank.
BLOUNT JR.: From ISIS.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, President Obama fully lifted the U.S. arms embargo on blank.
BLOUNT JR.: From Vietnam.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Thursday, a respected Saudi cleric officially prohibited blank.
BLOUNT JR.: Dancing the hoochie coochie.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They've prohibited taking selfies with cats.
BLOUNT JR.: Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, the NFL announced the locations of the 2019, 2020 and 2021 blanks.
BLOUNT JR.: Super Bowl.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, researchers at Ohio State University warned that...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...People who sit for too long may develop a new ailment called blank.
BLOUNT JR.: Called butt blisters.
SAGAL: So close. It's called dormant butt syndrome.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: DBS is a weakening of the glutes resulting from sitting. As with a volcano, the last thing you want is a dormant butt...
(LAUGHTER)
BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.
SAGAL: ...To erupt.
BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.
SAGAL: Bill, did Roy do well enough to win?
KURTIS: He got three right...
BLOUNT JR.: Oh gross.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOUNT JR.: Where is FEMA when I need it?
KURTIS: ...Six more points. He got 10, but he couldn't catch Roxanne with 18.
BLOUNT JR.: No.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists - well, now that we don't need to eat breakfast anymore what people will do in the morning instead.
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