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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game - Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer is now worth two points. Bill, can you please give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Hari and Alonzo each have two. Helen has three.

HELEN HONG: Ooh.

SAGAL: Oh, well, let's see. So Helen has three. All right, we have flipped a coin, and Alonzo has decided to go first. So here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank. On Wednesday, President Trump was met by protesters during his visits to Dayton and blank.

ALONZO BODDEN: El Paso.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the Dow dropped 500 points after blank devalued their currency.

BODDEN: China.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Best known for the novels "Beloved" and "The Bluest Eye," Nobel Prize-winner blank passed away this week at the age...

BODDEN: Toni...

SAGAL: ...Of 88.

BODDEN: ...Morrison.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, the world's first ever hotel for blanks opened in London.

BODDEN: Dogs.

SAGAL: No, hotel for houseplants. This week...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: This week, doctors in Rwanda stepped up efforts to prevent blank from spreading to the country.

BODDEN: Ebola.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, movie giant blank announced the monthly price of its upcoming video streaming service.

BODDEN: Disney.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After receiving a 911 call from a hungry boy asking for pizza...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Police in Florida blanked.

BODDEN: Delivered a pizza.

SAGAL: Exactly. But first...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...They went to his house and taught him an important lesson about how to use 911. Then they brought him a pizza.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Authorities at the Sanford, Fla., Police Department sent three officers - three officers - to the boy's house where they talked with him about what constitutes an emergency and that pizza, no matter how delicious, is not an emergency. Then they went to Pizza Hut and got him a pizza.

HONG: Aw.

SAGAL: The boy said he has learned his lesson. And next time he calls 911, he'll be sure to ask for breadsticks as well.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?

KURTIS: He got six right. That's 12 more points.

(APPLAUSE)

KURTIS: Total of 14 puts him in a very comfortable spot...

SAGAL: All right.

KURTIS: ...In the lead.

SAGAL: Hari, let's see if you can make him uncomfortable. You're up next. Fill in the blank. On Tuesday, President Trump sued California over their new law requiring presidential candidates to release their blank.

HARI KONDABOLU: Tax returns.

SAGAL: That's right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After tripping outside his home in Kentucky, Senate Majority Leader blank fractured his shoulder.

KONDABOLU: Mitch McConnell.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In an escalating battle over the disputed Kashmir region, Pakistan announced plans to suspend all trade with blank.

KONDABOLU: (Unintelligible). It's India.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Puerto Rico's Supreme Court ruled that the swearing in of the territory's new blank was unconstitutional.

KONDABOLU: Governor.

SAGAL: Governor, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Responding to rumors that he had died, the president of Turkmenistan blanked to prove that he was still alive.

KONDABOLU: Shot a video.

SAGAL: No, he did donuts in front of a giant flaming pit...

KONDABOLU: (Laughter).

SAGAL: ...Called the Gateway to Hell.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Following the shootings over the last weekend, web company Cloudfire (ph) announced it was cutting ties with controversial online message board blank.

KONDABOLU: 8chan.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, President Trump said he was considering commuting the sentence of disgraced Illinois governor blank.

KONDABOLU: Blagovich (ph).

SAGAL: Oh, good enough.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: (Unintelligible).

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Blaglegojevich (ph).

KONDABOLU: Blagojevich.

SAGAL: Basketball player Donell Cooper tried to cheat a routine...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...Drug test but was busted when the test came back and showed he was blank.

KONDABOLU: (Laughter) He was pregnant.

SAGAL: Yes, he was...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Pregnant.

(LAUGHTER)

KONDABOLU: Oh, man.

SAGAL: Cooper plays for a European league, and he tried to cheat the drug test by using his girlfriend's urine, and he got some great news.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: His shooting accuracy was really high. The...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The league suspended Cooper for two years, which is a pretty amazing paternity leave.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And by the way, this is how he found out they were going to have a baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Congratulations. You're soon to be an unemployed dad.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Hari do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Well, he slipped into the lead. He got...

SAGAL: Really?

KURTIS: ...Seven right, 14 more points. Sixteen is his total.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, then - how many, then, does Helen Hong need to win?

KURTIS: Seven big ones...

SAGAL: Here we go...

KURTIS: ...To win.

SAGAL: ...Helen.

HONG: Wow.

SAGAL: Here we go, Helen. This is for the game. Fill in the blank. On Thursday, the U.S. issued a travel advisory over continued pro-democracy protests in blank.

HONG: Hong Kong.

SAGAL: Right. According to a new report...

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: ...Apple has added software to the new blanks to prevent third-party battery repair.

HONG: iPhone.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, former Vice President Joe Biden accused blank of fanning the flames of white supremacy.

HONG: Trump.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, 680 people were arrested during ICE raids in blank.

HONG: Mississippi.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, presidential hopeful Bill de Blasio came under fire for reportedly asking NYPD officers to blank.

HONG: Stop eating doughnuts.

SAGAL: No, to help his daughter move. On...

HONG: What?

SAGAL: Yeah. On Monday, authorities in Minnesota charged disgraced R&B singer blank with two counts of solicitation.

HONG: R. Kelly.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, paleontologists discovered the bones of a giant blank that was as tall as a small child.

HONG: Hedgehog.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A parrot. A woman in Florida is waiting on repairs...

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SAGAL: ...After lightning struck near her home and blanked.

HONG: Lightning struck near her home and hit a hedgehog.

SAGAL: No, lightning struck near her home and exploded her toilet.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The woman said she was startled awake by the loudest sound she'd ever heard, only to find that her bathroom was a disaster area, and her toilet had been shattered into a thousand pieces. It turns out the lightning had struck her septic tank, igniting the methane gas inside it, sending the explosion through the pipes and into her bathroom.

HONG: Gross.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: At least that's what her husband said...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...Before nervously excusing himself and rushing out the door.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Helen do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got five right, 10 more points. But a total of 13 team means that Hari is the winner.

SAGAL: Congratulations, Hari.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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