Blink and they’re gone. I’m not talking about your salad days – although, sure, those, too. I’m talking about the holidays.
For all the monumental buildup to the season, you better watch out or you’ll be looking back and crying – or at least pouting – at stuff you might have done when the halls were decked and bells were jingling and Santa Clause was still coming to town.
So be sure to share the spirit by getting out and grabbing some before next year. If that sounds a little nutty, well, it is the holidays. Here are some ideas. I’ll try to be quick about it.
1. The Santaland Diaries
A department store Santa’s elf tells what it’s really like working with kids and their parents in the belly of the holiday beast. Laugh it up! Thursday, 7 p.m.; Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m.; Kansas City Repertory Theatre Copaken Stage, 13 and Walnut Streets, Kansas City, Mo.; tickets $20-$48.
2. The Nutcracker
The Sugar Plum Fairy is calling your name to this perennial pleasure staged by the Kansas City Ballet with Tchaikovsky’s iconic music performed by the Kansas City Symphony. Thursday and Friday, 7:30 p.m.; Saturday, 2 and 7:30 p.m.; Sunday, 1 and 5 p.m.; Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $29-$119.
3. Hershel and the Hanukkah Goblins
Veteran screen actor Victor Raider-Wexler – perhaps best known as Dr. Wexler on Seinfield – plays Hershel in the Paul Mesner Puppets’ clever adaptation of a timeless Hanukkah story. Will Hershel be able to stop the hobgoblins from ruining the holiday? See how pickles, eggs and a dreidel figure into Hershel’s quick-witted plan. Friday, 10 a.m.; Saturday, 6 p.m.; Sunday, 2 and 5 p.m.; White Theatre, Jewish Community Center of Greater Kansas City, 5801 W. 115th St., Overland Park, Kan.; tickets: $9-$15.
4. The Dickens Carolers
Kick back and enjoy holiday carols in four-part harmony performed by one of Kansas City’s favorite holiday vocal quartets. Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 2 p.m.; Chestnut Fine Arts Center, 234 N. Chestnut St., Olathe, Kan.; tickets: $22.
5. I Will Always Love You! (A Very Late Night Christmas)
Even Christmastime – actually, especially Christmastime – is a great time for cross-dressing fun, if Kansas City’s Late Night Theatre contingent has anything to say about it. And it does in Late Night’s patently silly and adults-only holiday variety show starring the likenesses of Dolly Parton and Whitney Houston with a peculiarly compelling overlay of TV’s “Facts of Life” and “The Brady Bunch.” Don’t ask, just go. Thursday through Saturday, 8 p.m.; Sunday, 6 p.m.; Missie B’s, 805 W. 39th St., Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $18.
6. Christmas Festival
Can you say ‘holiday spectacular’? That’s the idea when the Kansas City Symphony is joined by such special guests as the Kansas City Symphony Chorus, the Allegro Choirs of Kansas City and Rezound! Handbell Ensemble. Keep an eye out for Santa, too. Thursday, 7 p.m., Friday, 8 p.m., Saturday, 1 and 8 p.m., Sunday, 2:30 and 7 p.m., Kauffman Center for the Performing Arts, 1601 Broadway, Kansas City, Mo.; tickets:$30-$70.
7. Jingle ARRGH the Way! A Christmas Pirate Adventure
Theatre for Young America shows its heart in this holiday play focusing on a pirate captain at the North Pole. Yes, even naughty people deserve some niceness now and then. Thursday, 10 a.m. and noon; Friday, 10 a.m., noon and 7 p.m.; Saturday, 2 and 4 p.m.; H&R Block City Stage Theater, Union Station, 30 W. Pershing Road, Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $10.
8. The 12 Plays of Christmas
Experience a hipster-friendly holiday show made up of original short plays and fresh music presented in a black box theater in the Crossroads Arts District. Chance-taking talents on display include Heidi Van, Coleman Crenshaw, Devon Barnes, Andy Perkins and Marty Honig. Take that, Christmas blahs. Friday and Saturday, 8 p.m.; Fishtank Performance Studio, 1715 Wyandotte St., Kansas City, Mo.; tickets: $20.
9. Carriage Ride On the Plaza
Want to make a holiday memory? Snuggle up with that special someone or make it a family affair in a horse-drawn carriage ride on the Country Club Plaza. See the lights, the sights and the shoppers. It really doesn’t get any better. Kansas City Carriages; walk-up tickets available daily at Pennsylvania Avenue and Nichols Road at west end of Plaza; base price for two people: $55 (ages 3 and younger free).