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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now onto our final game, Lightning Fill in the Blank. Each of our players will have sixty seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as he or she can. Each correct answer now worth two points. Carl, can you give us the scores?

CARL KASELL: Charlie Pierce has the lead, Peter. He has four points. Faith Salie and PJ O'Rourke are tied for second. They both have three points.

SAGAL: All right. We flipped a coin and Faith has elected to go first. So here we go, fill in the blank. In a surprise move on Thursday, Donald Trump announced that he would be supporting blank.

FAITH SALIE: Mitt Romney.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Washington State's senate passed a measure this week that would make it the seventh state to legalize blank.

SALIE: Marriage equality.

SAGAL: Yeah, gay marriage.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Susan G Komen foundation drew criticism this week when it announced it was withdrawing funding for blank.

SALIE: Planned Parenthood.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A German man who kept a tub of lard in his cupboard for 64 years took it to authorities who determined blank.

SALIE: That is was something German.

SAGAL: No, that it was still edible. First Lady Michelle Obama appeared on Jay Leno's show this week and convinced him to eat his first blank, he says, since 1969.

SALIE: It had to be some kind of vegetable.

SAGAL: Yes, a vegetable. He says he hasn't eaten them since then.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Snooki lovers were disappointed this week by the news that the city of Hoboken had turned down the chance to host a spin-off of the show blank.

SALIE: "Jersey Shore."

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A new study has determined the reason it's so hard to attract young people to the fields of math and science is blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

SALIE: That they're watching the "Jersey Shore."

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The reason it is hard to attract young people to math and science is because math and science are real hard.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: A survey found 67 percent of American school kids say the reason they don't want math and science jobs is that they'd have to do math and science and it makes their heads hurt.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: To attract kids to the sciences - this is America, we know what incentives are. So they're going to go the Reality TV route: look for the glitzy competition shows, America's Got Pocket Protector, the XY Axis Factor.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And Standing Against the Wall While More Coordinated People are Dancing With the Stars.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SALIE: How about Schrodinger's Cat House.

SAGAL: Oh there you go, well done.

SALIE: Thanks.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, Carl, how did Faith do on our quiz?

KASELL: Faith had six correct answers, for twelve more points. She now has fifteen points and Faith has the lead.

SAGAL: Well done.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SALIE: Don't worry, you'll win.

SAGAL: All right, PJ, you're up next. Fill in the blank.

PJ O'ROURKE: All right.

SAGAL: At his annual ceremony in central Pennsylvania, on Thursday blank predicted six more weeks of winter.

O'ROURKE: Groundhog.

SAGAL: Yeah, Punxsutawney Phil.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because his daughter was ill, Republican candidate blank...

O'ROURKE: Rick Santorum.

SAGAL: Left the campaign trail this week. Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Because they contain incorrect dosages and could cause unwanted pregnancies, Pfizer is recalling 1 million packs of blanks.

O'ROURKE: Birth control pills.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Fans mourned the death this week of "Soul Train" creator blank at age 75.

O'ROURKE: Don Cornelius.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Authorities in England are using undercover police equipped with night vision goggles in a sting operation designed to bust blank.

O'ROURKE: I'll pass on that.

SAGAL: People who do not pick up after their dogs. Researchers in California said this week that blank is a toxin that should be regulated like alcohol.

O'ROURKE: Sugar.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After he was seen on multiple security cameras, police in California have issued an arrest warrant for a man for the crime of blanking.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

O'ROURKE: No answer occurs that could be put on radio.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The answer is stealing security cameras.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Oh, good one.

SAGAL: Someone was stealing security cameras, and police didn't have much to go on, just reels of security footage showing the same guy, climbing up and stealing security cameras.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SALIE: That's like an Escher painting.

SAGAL: It really is. People say they're on the lookout for an enormous pair of grasping hands.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Carl, how did PJ do on our quiz?

KASELL: PJ had five correct answers, for ten more points. He now has thirteen points, but Faith Salie still has the lead with fifteen.

O'ROURKE: Oh yeah.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right, so how many then does Charlie need to win?

KASELL: Six correct answers.

SAGAL: Here we go then Charlie, this is for the game. The Associated Press reported Thursday that the number of people on the TSA's blank list have doubled in the past year.

CHARLIE PIERCE: No fly.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Attorney General Eric Holder and House GOP members sparred Thursday over the failed drug smuggling investigation known as blank.

PIERCE: Fast and Furious.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Elaborating on his plans for a moon base this week, blank said he would spur innovation by offering cash prizes.

PIERCE: Newt Gingrich.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: According to new research by a British firm, the secret to a happy marriage is for couples to blank.

PIERCE: Sing.

SAGAL: No. To cuddle eleven times over the course of two weeks.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: And by the way, with each other.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Late Wednesday, Mark Zuckerberg filed papers to list blank on the stock exchange.

PIERCE: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: In a maneuver to protect his assets from a civil suit, a Florida millionaire this week legally blanked.

PIERCE: Left his money to his giant Burmese python.

SAGAL: No.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: He adopted his 40-year-old girlfriend. After a Florida man reported gunfire in his living room, police stormed his house and found blank.

(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)

PIERCE: A video game.

SAGAL: No, they found a shootout on the TV. Close, it was a television program. The man had been watching TV earlier in the evening, and had left it on when he went into his bedroom and fell asleep. But when he woke up later, he heard gunfire and screams from the living room. So naturally he called police.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: But by the time the police arrived, David Letterman had somehow gotten in there and chased the bad guys away.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: Carl, did Charlie do well enough to win?

PIERCE: No.

KASELL: He needed six correct answers to win, but he had just four correct answers. So with fifteen points, Faith Salie is this week's champion.

(SOUNDBITE OF APPLAUSE)

O'ROURKE: All right. Congratulations.

SALIE: I was lucky. Thank you.

O'ROURKE: Congratulations.

SALIE: I was lucky.

O'ROURKE: You were lucky only in your opponents. Otherwise, you were skillful.

(SOUNDBITE OF LAUGHTER)

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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