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Lightning Fill In The Blank

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth 2 points.

Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS: Well, Adam has 2. Roxanne has 3, and Paula has 4 in the lead.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Well, that means we know the order. Adam, you're in third place, so you will go first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank.

On Wednesday, blank made her first public address since conceding last week's election.

ADAM FELBER: Hillary Clinton.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: A study released this week showed that users of the social media site blank engaged more with fake news stories than real ones.

FELBER: Facebook.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Donald Trump had his first official meeting with a world leader, the prime minister of blank.

FELBER: Japan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: According to Chinese state media, two U.S.-born giant pandas are having trouble adjusting to life in China because blank.

FELBER: They don't like the food.

SAGAL: No - because they only speak English.

FELBER: Oh.

SAGAL: This week, the shareholders of SolarCity approved a buyout from automaker blank.

FELBER: Tesla.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: After a long ordeal, firefighters in Denmark were able to free a man who had become trapped in blank.

FELBER: His own mind.

SAGAL: His standing desk.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Or that.

SAGAL: The man, although trapped in his standing desk, was able to reach the phone. He called 911, and the firefighters showed up, broke down the door of his office building with a battering ram and found him stuck there in the standing desk. Fortunately, they were able to cut him out using the jaws of humiliation.

(LAUGHTER)

FELBER: Speaking about the jaws of humiliation, how'd I do, Bill?

KURTIS: Well, Adam, you got four right - 8 more points. You have a total of 10, but you're in the lead.

FELBER: I don't love my chances.

SAGAL: No. Well, let's see how Roxanne does next. Fill in the blank, Roxanne.

On Tuesday, former presidential candidate blank opted out of serving in Donald Trump's cabinet.

ROXANNE ROBERTS: Ben Carson.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Wednesday, Senate Democrats elected Chuck Schumer to replace blank as minority leader.

ROBERTS: To - Harry Reid.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, Virginia Senator blank confirmed he would not run for president in 2020.

ROBERTS: Tim Kaine.

SAGAL: Right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Denver became the first U.S. city to allow blank in bars and restaurants.

ROBERTS: Marijuana?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, Mike Trout and Kris Bryant won baseball's blank awards.

ROBERTS: MVPs?

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: This week, a man pulled over in South Carolina learned that you cannot beat a breathalyzer by blanking.

ROBERTS: By turning it upside down and blowing on the other side?

SAGAL: No, by spraying a whole lot of Axe body spray into your mouth first.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Police pulled over Patrick Butler for erratic driving. And when they approached his car, they found him, quote, "actively spraying Axe body spray into his mouth," presumably in an attempt to fool any sobriety tests. Unfortunately for Butler, his plan did not work and he wound up blowing both a .13 on the breathalyzer and a .95 on the douchebag-alyzer (ph).

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Roxanne do?

KURTIS: She got five right. That's 10 more points for her - 13. And she is in the lead now.

PAULA POUNDSTONE: Oh, my.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. How many, then, does Paula need to win, Bill?

KURTIS: She needs five.

SAGAL: Oh, my gosh. Paula, this is for the game. Fill in the blank.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

SAGAL: This week, Republicans unanimously nominated blank to be speaker of the House.

POUNDSTONE: Paul Ryan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Thursday, James Clapper announced his plans to resign as the U.S. director of blank.

POUNDSTONE: National Intelligence.

SAGAL: Yes, National Intelligence.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Sorry.

SAGAL: On Monday, PBS NewsHour co-anchor blank tragically passed away at the age of 61.

POUNDSTONE: Gwen Ifill.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Monday, Britain's National Health Service email servers were shut down after someone blanked.

POUNDSTONE: Hacked them.

SAGAL: No, hit reply-all on a staff email, resulting in 186 million emails being sent.

In a letter sent to the Nobel Prize Committee this week, blank said he would not be able to collect his prize in person.

POUNDSTONE: Bob Dylan.

SAGAL: Yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Oh, sorry. OK.

SAGAL: A study published this week finds you can mitigate some of the negative effects of smoking by blanking.

POUNDSTONE: Not smoking.

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: By drinking.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, by drinking.

SAGAL: According to the best medical study in the history of the world...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: ...This time from Germany, drinking a glass of red wine an hour before you light up a cigarette can protect your artery walls from the effects of smoking.

POUNDSTONE: Thank goodness.

SAGAL: And, logically, if you want your arteries to be twice as protected, you should drink two glasses.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Also, don't worry about the harmful effects of the wine, as the same report found that those can be easily countered by a brick of black tar heroin.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Paula do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got four right.

SAGAL: Oh.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, my gosh.

KURTIS: Just one short. That means Roxanne is our winner this week.

POUNDSTONE: There we go.

SAGAL: Wow.

(APPLAUSE) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

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