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Central Standard

How Kansas Citians Say Their Mothers Talked To Them About Race

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We asked Kansas Citians how their mothers talked to them about race.

As a nation we have been talking about race a lot lately. And with Mother's Day just ahead we thought we would pair two unlikely subjects.

"How did your mother talk with you about race?" we asked.

What you told us ran the gamut from “my mother didn’t talk to me about race,” to “she let us know her feelings, but indirectly,” to “she told us exactly what she thought and what she wanted us to know.”

Imani Malaika wrote that her mother didn't talk to her about race. Instead, she said, they'd watch TV as a family — To Kill A Mockingbird,  A Patch of BlueGuess Who's Coming to Dinner, to learn about race.  It wasn't an easy education.

"Can you try to imagine the bewildered horror I felt watching Bull Connor use fire hoses on children?" Malaika wrote. "Children who looked just like me were being brutalized for no reason that I could see."

Dave, 72, from Overland Park, Kansas, wrote he grew up in an era when racists spoke more openly. His dad, he said, made it clear he didn't like anyone who wasn't white, which put his mother in a difficult position.

“Poor mom felt differently, we could tell, so we sort of took our cues from her as she rolled her eyes or kept silent," he said.

Growing up in Raytown, Missouri, Kelly Barth said she didn't see many African Americans. But her mother wanted the kids to say the "right thing," Barth said. So their mother told them never to use the racial slurs, and that she thought African American people perfer to be referred to as "black." The advice seemed to have a paradoxical effect on Barth.

"My mother seemed pleased when I talked about (my black friend) she was pleased that he was my friend. I remember that made my think of him as somehow different. Though this may not have been her intention, I think it was the beginning of segregating people in my mind.”

Here are some of the other responses we got:

Tell KCUR is part of an initiative to engage the community and shine a light on your experiences and opinions. We’ll ask a new question every week and then share your feedback on the air and online. Check out our arsenal of questions and your answers

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I partner with communities to uncover the ignored or misrepresented stories by listening and letting communities help identify and shape a narrative. My work brings new voices, sounds, and an authentic sense of place to our coverage of the Kansas City region. My goal is to tell stories on the radio, online, on social media and through face to face conversations that enhance civic dialogue and provide solutions.