Michelle Bui is playing wingwoman for her friend, Jennifer Pham.
“She's a 5'4 Sagittarius who is very ambitious, generous, and insanely creative,” Bui said. “She's in a band. She plays like four to five instruments. Drives a motorcycle named Mommy.”
Bui isn’t just saying this to one person at a bar — she’s using a PowerPoint presentation and a microphone in front of a sold-out crowd of 150 people.
It’s part of a queer dating event called “Where To Find Us,” held on this winter evening in the basement of Parlour in the Crossroads.
Founders Tiffany Watts and Lo Cowan describe the event like Shark Tank for dating. Nine pitchers are selected to give a five-minute presentation about a single friend complete with selling points, graphs, and photos.
You can find contact information at the end of the presentations, but audience members are also encouraged to approach the eligible singles during breaks.
“It’s very like, low pressure, so people can really have fun with it,” Watts said on an episode of KCUR’s Up To Date. “We give them baseline, here's some very basic things you need to have in your PowerPoint presentation. And other than that, do your own thing.”
Watts and Cowan met about a year ago at another LGBTQ+ event in Kansas City and became instant friends. They knew they wanted to do something for queer singles, but it wasn’t until they saw a TikTok that the concept for Where To Find Us developed.
“We saw someone pitching a friend, and that's really where our heart stopped, right there,” Cowan said on Up To Date. “And we was like, ‘Yeah, I think we can do this. We can bring this to the city, and it'd be great.’”
It didn’t take long for word to spread about this new dating experiment. Their first two events, in November and January, both sold out.
It seemed like there was someone for everyone there. Do you like movies and professional wrestling? Meet Rhonda. Does going to the gym in the morning and karaoke at night sound like a fun day? Maybe Alyssa is the one for you. Do you hate seafood and love people-watching? Slide into Monica’s DMs.
At check-in, audience members could get wristbands color-coordinated to their relationship status: green for “looking,” red for “in a relationship,” purple for polyamorous, yellow for people unsure of their sexuality, and pink for LGBTQ+ allies.
“ We wanted something that was just like fun and entertaining and just like a new way for people to connect,” Watts said.
As the crowd started trickling in, participants exuded a nervous but excited energy. The most eager in the room, however, were their presenters, who were thrilled to get a platform to brag about their friends.
Because even though the event has a romantic goal, it was also a real display of platonic love.
“This is also an opportunity for our friends to get up and just like, celebrate us and who we are and talk about who we've been to them,” Watts said.
Michelle Bui and Jennifer Pham have been friends since they met in preschool. Bui said it took her a month and a half to convince Pham to participate.
“I just love talking about how cool she is and how, like, great of a person she is,” Bui said. “So I'm really excited to kind of, like, showcase that to Kansas City as a whole.”
In her presentation, Bui called Pham the sweetest, smartest, and most romantic person in the world. She bragged about Pham’s cooking skills — even showing off pictures of some of her creations.
Thirty-one-year-old hairstylist Alexandra Orrego received a rave review from Mari, who had almost three decades’ worth of compliments to give.
“We’re sisters!” Alexandra said, as Mari added, “since birth!”
Alexandra doesn’t use dating apps, so meeting people in the wild is a familiar experience for her. And it’s one of the reasons Mari thought Alexandra would be a good candidate.
“ I knew I could not let the opportunity slide,” Mari said. “I wanted to pitch her so bad, so I just signed us up, and she was down for it. Luckily.”
Mari talked about her sister’s love of coffee, music, and reading. How she’s fearless and a natural performer. And she called Alexandra the most reliable person you will ever know.
“ She's just very creative, and she finds all these different outlets to unleash it,” Mari told the crowd. “And she rocks it. Every time.”
One week later, Jennifer and Alexandra reflected on that night.
Alexandra said she’s happy she did it, even though she isn’t sure she found a match.
“ I love gay people,” Alexandra said. “I love spending time with them. I love being around them, so I think if only for that, it was a great event.”
She said listening to her sister’s presentation gave her a confidence boost.
“I think it is nice to have that opportunity to have someone else kind of hype you up,” she said. “I think it helps your self-esteem a lot.”
Jennifer says she got a few messages out of the presentation, although she said trying to talk to everyone was “really overwhelming.” Still, she’s glad she tried it.
“ I think it is totally a fun event to just go out and meet new people and just to be a part of a community of people,” Pham said. “Especially in the Midwest, we need more events like this.”
The next Where To Find Us is scheduled for March 20 at The Ship.
